Happy Birthday To Me!

Happy Birthday to me! I must admit turning 40 scares me. There is so much I have yet to do, and at the same time I feel like I am just getting started. One thing the COVID19 pandemic has taught me is that life is not promised, and things can change at any minute, so you better be prepared. Mentally, I was not. Anxiety and depression kicked in and for the first time I felt alone. My mind wandered a lot, but it was not always unpleasant. At some point I got the urge to write. I finished a workbook (which will be available this fall) and started making plans for my blog and podcast. So here I am a year later writing the first entry for my blog.

I do not know why I seem to take the long roads in life, but I am grateful that I usually arrive at my destination. I hope this blog will encourage you. I want to use this platform to celebrate the dope women and men I know and be transparent about the peaks and valleys of this thing called life.

But right now, it’s about me and I want to share some of my lessons and blessings.

I suppose I could prioritize these, but they are not in any order.

Here are 40 nuggets, lessons, gems, observations (whatever you want to call them) that have helped me along the way.

1. For me, God is everything – Outside of the Spirit, life becomes hectic for me. Staying close to God brings so much clarity to my life.

2. Likewise, whatever your faith is always cultivate that – I know we are not the religious generation but acknowledging something bigger than you can help you get aligned with your life’s purpose (In my opinion).

3. Make yourself a priority – It is ok to help others but do not neglect yourself.

4. Do not feel bad about saying No – You cannot do everything. Learn to make “No” a complete sentence.

5. When someone shows you who they are believe them - Do not convince yourself otherwise.

6. I enjoy hugs more than I’d like to admit – I used to hate hugs growing up. I think it was a vulnerability thing. Now I’m not afraid to admit I need them.

7. People will project their insecurities on you - Ignore them and keep betting on yourself.

8. Make family time a priority – Life can be busy, but we all have the same 24 hours in a day. It’s how we use them that’s different. There aren’t many things more important than family.

9. Tomorrow is not promised. Cuss folks out today - Ok, so you don’t have to curse, but don’t hold in how you feel. If someone did you wrong, you’re allowed to voice your displeasure.

10. Health is wealth – Annual check-ups may save your life. Drink water, meditate and exercise. Let’s start making better choices.

11. Our parents did the best they could – I know we like to think we’re doing things better than our parents, but they did more with less. No, they did not do everything right, but neither do you. Cut them some slack.

12. Don’t be afraid to be great – It is a little uncomfortable but playing small does not help anyone. If you got it, you got it!

13. One step forward is still movement - Keep going.

14. Sometimes I am the problem – Self-evaluation and correction are necessary.

15. You really are your thoughts – Some things pop in our minds without invitation, but they should not live there rent free. Redirecting negative thoughts can turn things around quicker than you think.

16. Aint nothing to it, but to do it - Martin Lawrence was on to something. You just have to step out and do it.

17. You’re allowed to change your mind – The first decision may no longer work for you. It’s ok to switch it up.

18. Trust the process – It takes time, but it works out (at the right time).

19. People speak based on their experiences – Do not get offended. Their experience may have been different from yours.

20. Preserve your peace – I’m learning to let things go that disturb my peace of mind.

21. Losing aint always a lost – Fantasia said it best, “sometimes you have to lose to win again.” I’ve always gotten something better than what I thought I lost.

22. Your ex is your ex for a reason - Familiarity will keep you stuck in unhealthy situations. We revisit things and quickly remember why they are no more. Leave them where you left them.

23. Folks do what they want to do – If they wanted to, they would.

24. I’ll sleep when I die is silly – I need at least 6 hours sleep to function properly. Our generation is obsessed with being booked and busy. Whole time we’re missing out on life and aging swiftly. Your body needs rest.

25. Therapy doesn’t mean you’re crazy – Seeing a therapist is such a stigma in our community. I honestly think we need it more than anybody. Talk to someone about your feelings and let them help you sort things out.

26. Cats are not evil – Someone lied to me! My Gigi is bad and bougie, but she is also the sweetest thing I’ve ever known. She helps keep my anxiety low and I do not know what I would do without her now.

27. Save often. The rainy day is coming – The Rona taught us that. I still don’t like how y’all acted over that tissue though.

28. Some things are better left unsaid - Of course, I realize that after I’ve said it. I’m sorry.

29. Learn to control your emotions – Embrace your emotions but manage them. Acting off emotions often lead to bad decisions.

30. Friends are a necessity – Not “yes” friends, but real friends. The ones that correct you without putting you down and twerk with you when it’s all over.

31. And if you want good friendships, be a good friend.

32. Being single is not the same as being alone – There’s a difference. I am single but I’m not alone. My family and friends fill many voids in my life.

33. If you fail, try again – You’ll never get it if you stop. This time when you try, you’re trying with experience.

34. College is not for everybody – I love learning but I hated school. There is nothing wrong with learning a trade. Do whatever works best for you.

35. Travel as much as you can – Don’t get stuck in a bubble. There is so much of the world to see.

36. It is never too late to dream – As long as you’re breathing go for everything your heart desires.

37. You cannot change people - All you can do is encourage them and pray for the best.

38. Apologize when you’re wrong – A sincere apology will save a lot of relationships.

39. Listen to understand not to respond – Don’t be the person who inserts themselves in everything. Sometimes people just need a listening ear. If they want advice, they will ask for it.

40. Don’t compare your journey – Comparison is a killjoy. Yes, we can look to people for motivation, but the path to the end result is different for everyone.

Feel free to drop some more nuggets in the comments.