STD's - (Something To Do) Avoiding the Rebound

#itsjustise #stds #rebound

The end of a relationship is never easy. Even when your ex is a complete and total POS, there is a period of mourning so to speak. You wonder, how did I get here? Did I make the right decision? What if I never find anyone else? Countless questions flood your mind until you finally conclude and accept the reality. The relationship is over.

If you’re anything like me you give yourself a pep talk, put on your best threads, blast some Gucci Mane and start the process of getting over “dude.” And it works for a period. That is until you’re watching CSI Miami. The show you watched together and notice Horatio had on some new shades. But you can’t call him and laugh about it. So you sulk and start to miss him. This sucks!

As much as I love my friends and family it’s nothing like watching Sunday football with the Boo. But Boo is gone. After a week I’m looking at the wall asking what do I do now? Cleary, I need something to do.

Then one day, you’re going to the mailbox in your building at the same time your new neighbor walks in. He looks good, smells good, and even has a cute little puppy. Clearly, the Lord has heard your prayers. You exchange numbers and begin “dating” or something like that. You tell yourself it’s nothing serious. You just need something to take your mind away from whatchamacallit.

It doesn’t take long for you to realize this new one is a nutcase. You missed, well ignored all the red flags because you needed something to do. Needed to be held. Needed to feel wanted. Needed to be seen. But really, entertaining someone new was the last thing you needed at that moment.

I get it. They say, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” But they never tell you how emotional decisions usually leave you an emotional wreck and it’s a great chance you end up with someone worse than who you left. Been there done that.

So, what do you do?

Well, there are a lot of things to do other than run into the arms of someone else too soon.

Therapy is so underrated. Depending on the length and depth of the relationship I would highly suggest you speak to your therapist or find one. Not to mention if there was any emotional or physical abuse that’s nothing to just brush off. You need help. Professionally. Not because you’re crazy. Because you’re hurt. There’s a reason they say, "hurt people hurt people." It’s not always intentional. Sometimes we do things for self-pleasure and the other person gets caught in the crossfire and we become the person that hurt us. That’s a problem and also the reason so many people are afraid to open up in a new relationship. We live in a world full of "savages" which in my opinion are just people masking their pain. Therapy can help you release some of that pain and aide in understanding some of the areas where you could have made a better decision.

Your friends have been waiting on you to come to your senses. I know you don’t want to be a burden, but if they’re your real friends they know what you need right now. Yes, you need something to do. Something that will take your mind off the situation you just left. Why not “do something,” with your friends. You don’t have to sit around having a hate fest. Try that new restaurant you kept begging your ex to take you to. Go to a comedy show. Spend a day at the beach. Whatever it is, make sure it’s something fun that you will enjoy! Friends have a way of taking our minds off all the things that weigh us down. They knew you before your ex and will be there for the next. Lean on them!

Spiritual focus can change things in the blink of an eye. “It’s God for me!” When you think about it, a lot of failed relationships happen because we didn’t consult God in the first place. Trust me, I know the flesh is weak. When tall, dark, and handsome is in front of you, you tend to put God on the back burner. Whatever your spiritual alignment is get back to that. It could be simple mediation. Focusing on realignment is what reminds you that you are stronger than what you’re feeling and that there are bigger and better plans for you; other than bed hopping.

Affirm you are 100% that chick! Sometimes breakups are accompanied with a lot of self-doubt. When it’s out of nowhere you feel like you did something wrong. In reality it just wasn’t meant to be. Someone being an idiot has zero to do with you. Not that you’re perfect. We all have room for self-improvement. If there was something that you could have done differently, learn the lesson and do better next time. In all cases never forget how freakin awesome you are; flaws and all! There are so many pages on IG that do nothing but promote self-love. Follow a few. Feel your timeline with daily affirmations that encourage you to love everything about yourself. I promise you will start to feel better.

STD is a double entendre. While I’m focusing on not just finding someone to do while you’re getting over your breakup, I’m also hoping it’s an avoidance of something more serious; a sexually transmitted disease. This is why I encourage you to focus on yourself for a while to avoid emotional bad decisions. We all think we’re not that “dumb” until we’re that “dumb,” and dealing with a bigger issue than a heartbreak. To be honest, it’s not a matter of being dumb, it’s a matter of not being focused. We can focus on the love we lost, or we can focus on what’s ahead of us. Someone sent me a tiktok recently that really encouraged me. In short, the person said don’t worry about meeting the next one. You will meet him/her on the path to your purpose. So do that. Focus on your purpose and watch how everything falls into place in due time.

That concludes my Ted Talk for today 😊.